Beyond Me: When Interrupted Plans Are a Blessing

It all happened rather unexpectedly. Ok, I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised. For the two years prior, God had been preparing in ways that He hadn’t been before. He had put along my path various experiences, relationships, and teachings related to the topic. I had even attended half of a conference about it when it didn’t have anything to do with me. I went purely for the fact that God had asked me to go.

I hadn’t been looking for it. I was wondering if it would ever happen and hoping it would happen to me, but I was pretty content with my life as it was. I went to my former country without a thought that my life would change dramatically. I went to help a team start a language center.

It started with a few casual meetings here and there. A visit once or twice with another co-worker to our city and a conference, these times we had a few conversations but I thought nothing more of them. Thankfully, Romany had other plans.

Our team traveled to the village that he was working in since he was lonely and his roommate was out of country. Romany and I ended up in the cabin alone. He was making tea and I was doing the dishes. We chatted about several different topics and I was clueless to the fact that he was indeed “interviewing” me. As we left the cabin, he made a comment to me that he’d like to get to know me better. I was taken aback and didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t talk or look at him for the rest of the time we were there.

Now I have to explain. Romany had been praying and thinking about me for a while. In addition, in Egyptian culture, a man doesn’t approach a woman until he is serious about it leading to marriage if they find themselves compatible. Egyptians don’t “casually date.” It was a serious commitment to him for us to get to know each other more with the intention that it could lead to marriage.

I have lived in the Middle East for eight years and I knew that he was serious when he asked me. For my part, I had never considered him that way. I had also promised myself that I would never marry an Arab since our cultures are so vastly different! I took a couple of days to think, pray, and talk to my leader about it. At the end of that time, I felt that I should just get to know him and let God do the rest.

We started our relationship in English/Arabic over Skype. God challenged me in many ways over the course of those first few months. I had a lot of stereotypes of Middle Eastern men which I had spent years guarding myself against in which both God and Romany had to break. I had also never been in a relationship before and I felt myself faced with varying issues about relationships and marriage which I spent a lot of time working through with God on the roof of the house I was living in. Those first few months were life changing for me. God did things in my life that I never expected and as God worked, my guarded heart opened slowly.

Time with Romany and his mom on a boat on the Nile.

We started dating in April and in June we had an opportunity to go to Egypt for a conference. Romany was going to remain in Egypt since his time in our country was over. We took a few days after the conference to travel to his village to meet his family. I was impressed by their family culture. He has a great respect for his parents and it shows in his relationship with them. I immediately felt at home with them and a part of their family. It was a great answer to prayer for us.

Romany remained in Egypt and I went back to our country. We continued our relationship over Skype and still talked for two to three hours a night. It was during this time that we decided that God was leading us to get married and we started planning accordingly.

At the end of September, Romany came back to our country to join our team. We got engaged after spending the morning buying our rings at the local gold bazaar. Romany didn’t have much choice, though, because we only found one ring that fit his finger! Egyptians have bigger fingers than the people there!

We only took a few pictures at the park the day we got

engaged. This is the best one that captured the mood.

At the beginning of December, we headed out again to Egypt to plan our wedding and get married officially; these are two separate events in this part of the world. We were married on 8 January 2013 in a church in his village, ten months ago!